Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Statistically Speaking

When I was first diagnosed, I of course, read everything that I could get these little hands on.  Blogs, cancer sites, question and answer threads and then the worst of all – statistics.  I swore to myself that I wouldn’t become a statistic.  The unfortunate thing was that I already had the day that I was diagnosed. 

Statistically speaking, when I physically tell someone new that I have Melanoma their response will either be one of three routes:
  • They have it (haven’t run into that one yet),
  • They know someone that has it (I've run into a LOT of that - thanks everyone for the input! :)),
  • They say “Oh good; that’s the kind you want - it’s just skin cancer.” 
Really?  You KNOW what kind of cancer I would like to have?  What is this, a freaking cancer vending machine?  Oh – I need to insert more coins for Breast Cancer, but I have just enough for Melanoma – don’t worry, it’s just skin cancer.

I actually agreed the first time someone said that to me.  “Yeah, I guess you’re right.  But have you googled anything about this, it’s totally creepy!” 

Statistically speaking, Melanoma diagnosis has increased 15% in the last 40 years, thus making it the fastest growing Cancer in the USA.  It’s the 2nd most common form of cancer among young woman ages 15-30.  If not caught early, it can absolutely be fatal.  It’s the leading cause of cancer deaths in young woman ages 25-30 and a close 2nd to breast cancer in women aged 30-34.  And we can’t leave out this beauty: Tanning before age 35 increases your chance of diagnosis by 75 percent.  Seventy-Five-Effing-Percent! 
Anyways, enough with all of that joyful noise.  The reality is it’s hard to not come across statistics during ‘research’.  Practically every website, blog and/or thread talks about statistics sooner or later.  Damn it, I’ve totally just contributed.  Oh well.  Peeps need to know what the hell is up!!  Along with not wanting to be a statistic, I definitely don’t want to be a Debbie Downer (one of my favorite SNL skits: “Feline AIDS is the number one killer of domestic cats!”).  I’m not going to quote statistics at every opportunity.  That would be weird. 

Today – Debbie Downer is not allowed.  Today is World Autism day and I’m wearing a blue dress for Autism! Even the Empire State building will be switching out their standard lights for blues.  Light it up BLUE!  And I will totally quote something I said this morning:

“I’m becoming a Motivational Bi-otch!”

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