Nails on a chalkboard...

A lot of things have changed with the way I think.  Going places that require being in the sun for an extended period now make me nervous.  I now will no longer wait on seeing the doctor when something seems suspicious.  Yes, I totally may be becoming a hypochondriac.  Sunblock stands out and it makes me happy when I see huge displays in the front of stores.  Now when I hear people say that they NEED a tan; that a tan looks healthier, it literally sends a shiver up my back…it sounds like nails on a chalkboard.
 

The sun (and we can’t leave out tanning beds) emits ultraviolet radiation.  Once in the sun, your skin begins producing extra melanin in an attempt to absorb all of the solar radiation.  That suntan that you get is your skin’s defense mechanism trying to protect itself from the UV rays that it’s being exposed to.  Oh, and technically that sunburn you get is a radiation burn.

Back in the day, people that were tan were thought to be in the lower class because they had to work outside.  Affluent people were typically pale because they stayed indoors and women went to great lengths to keep their skin pasty.  Full length dresses that covered their entire body, white face powders and IF they ever did venture out in the sun, they walked around with those cute, little umbrellas known as parasols.  

Nowadays people are going to great lengths to damage their skin.  Listen, I get it – I used to be one of those people.  I used to lay out in my backyard using my SPF 4 oil and I would spritz myself with water to cool down, basically removing any of the little protection that I had on.  And that was only the front; I didn't have arms long enough to reach my back...so that got pretty much no protection at all.  

I used to go to the tanning salon in preparation for summer.  Though I only went a couple days a week for about a month, maybe two months out of the year, I still had the mindset of getting that healthy base tan every year so I would look super cute in my tank tops and wouldn't burn as easily (which is a complete crock of toasty fried crap).

Things have changed…completely.  

• I am completely fine with double thinking activities depending on the time of day.
• I am completely fine with being super pasty – so pasty that you can physically see my veins through my skin.  
• I am completely fine slathering sunblock on.  
• I’m completely fine with worrying about my skin the random days where I forget to put sunblock on.  
• I am completely fine being the voice of annoyance to the people around me “Have you had that mole checked out?”  “You WILL be wearing sunblock, right?”  
• I am completely fine with *hopefully* having skin like milk while sun goers will have skin like leather.  
• And, more importantly, I am completely fine with working on understanding the person that I have changed into since all of this started 

RESPECT THE SUN - BE SAFE AND USE YOUR SUNSCREEN!

Pieces of Me

I did see this on Chelsea's blog months and months ago when I first read it and I thought that it was an amazing idea.  It's a great way to help others know who you are.  So, I've been typing this post on and off for a couple months now and I felt like since I'm meeting lots of new people this would be a great time to share a part of me :)

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I hate lying.  I think that it's harder to lie than it is to tell the truth.  When you tell the truth you don't have to worry about what you've said in the past. 

Growing up I wanted to be a dolphin trainer, that is until I realized that I don’t like deep, cold water or large animals swimming around me.

After realizing the creepy dolphin trainer dealio, I decided that being a Special Effects person would be awesome.  Ever since seeing Jurassic Park, I was sold; that is until I realized that I'm not an amazing artist. 

I have a fear of the ocean, but I would much rather be in a shark cage than sky dive from a perfectly good airplane.

I really enjoy cooking new recipes and making new recipes of my own. 

The one thing I would bring to a deserted island would be chap stick…an infinite supply of chap stick (with SPF).  I can MacGyver the rest. 

I regret not playing softball in high school.

My favorite holiday is a tie between Christmas and Halloween.  Christmas because of the tree smell and the lights in/on homes.  Halloween because of the costumes and the creepiness.  

I believe in pretty much all things paranormal – except for aliens.  

I almost cried at a Pedigree commercial.  It's a new one and totally sweet with home videos of the cutest dogs and a sappy song.  Take my advise ladies, if you're close to your 'monthly', change the channel!

I think cemeteries are beautiful, quiet and comforting.   

I once almost passed out from accidentally sitting on a tube of fake blood.  I felt like such a nerd when I realized that I wasn’t bleeding profusely.

I drive like a dude.  I even make fun of women drivers since I’ve lifted myself out of that category. 

I enjoy the fact that I actually listen to the little voice in my head that knows right between wrong.

Japanese food is my favorite.   Ramen, sushi, katsu pork with curry sauce...mmm....and shabu-shabu. If you haven’t tried Shabu-Shabu yet, you must immediately.  Seriously, stop reading this and head to the nearest joint.

I totally talk to myself.  Not in front of other people, that would be weird. 

I love scary movies, they're my favorite.  Even though I will absolutely wake up in the middle of the night and ask the hubs to accompany me to the bathroom.

I'm not discriminatory, I love all dogs, though my favorite dogs are pitties; but I love any in the bully breeds.  And please don't say stuff like 'their jaws lock' around me, you’ll get schooled.    

I like to think (know) that I am just a touch....psychic.  I've had several dreams that led me to truths.    

I am independent to a fault.  If I need personal help, I rarely ask because I like to think that “I can handle it”.

I used to have a 4ft tall play house in the back yard and I tried jumping off it with an umbrella and shopping bags in hopes of parachuting.  It didn’t work...

...And I’ve never broken a bone and I hope I never do. 

I hate spiders.  Hate.  Them.  Oh, and snakes - they are totally creepy.  O-kay fine, I hate everything with no legs or more than 4.

I love my husband and family lots, but sometimes I wish I had more friends. 

Admiration graduation; part two

Most of you know that I've started a new Facebook page for this blog and the neat thing is that I've had a couple of "Melahomies" that I've been following comment on my page and it gives me butterflies.  Lots-o-b-flies.

It's still hard to talk/write about things, but at this point I feel like I've already opened up so much that some of you know me pretty well.  Most of you are my family, some are my friends, others are people that I have never had a chance to shake a hand with - though I hope one day we will get the chance to hug and share a laugh.

I can't help but smile when I see that people have read this very blog in Russia, Germany, Australia, Thailand and several other countries. It's overwhelming, extremely humbling and somewhat worrying (only 'worrying' because I know that Melanoma was the key part of the internet investigation).  I know it all started with a search engine, but I hope it ended with my words.

I started this blog to keep my family and friends aware of my inner thoughts and feelings and also hoped that I might reach an outer circle.  I never imagined that it would reach a larger circle, even though that was a hope.  I am so very happy that the circle is getting larger, as is our voice, and I am so extremely proud to be a part of the roar that we have.

Thank you Life, may I have another?

The other day I was thinking how I hadn't written anything in a while.  It actually made me feel kind of sad, like I haven't had a lot of random thoughts like I normally do.  I suppose it's true, I've really only been focused on getting back on track. Almost like I've been mentally hiding from my 'random thoughts'.

A couple of times when the hubs and I were chatting during the last month he made mention that he had this bad feeling that things would get worse before they would get better.  I thought it had something to do with the unemployment...which by the way has not started yet...it's been super.  Well, yesterday while doing laundry, I walk back inside our place and notice some of Tony's things with an interesting set of papers on the dining table: Discharge paperwork.

I swiftly walk through our small apartment and I can't find him.  I straight up looked in closets thinking that I would find my strong, tall man in a crumbled pile on the floor.  I pace for about 30 seconds before I can hear his footsteps coming up to our patio and the look on his face confirms it all.  He was let go, too.

Breakdown commences in 3 - 2 - 1....

You all know that I am a firm believer in everything happens for a reason so I am betting it all on black that we're going to win the lottery.  I mean, we've got to, right?  Wouldn't that be awesome?!  Yes, yes it would.  I also know that we all learn and grow from life's experiences, but there are times when I just want to scream "What else are you going to throw at us, LIFE?"  I definitely don't want to shout "Is that all ya' got!?"  I don't want to challenge the universe, that would be a very, very bad idea.

This last year...who am I kidding, the last two years have been pretty stressful.  With all of the learning and growing that the hubs and I have been doing, we're going to be so much stronger and smarter than we already are.  I am just so unbelievably ready for all of this to be over and put in the past where it belongs...