Monday, April 22, 2013

Good News Monday!

So, I get a phone call from UCI this morning and I am thinking that they are just going to be confirming the appointment for tomorrow. I had an automated appointment confirmation call yesterday, I am thinking maybe it's just another one.  I answer it and it's a live person.  She asks me how I am doing, to which I respond that every day is getting better.  She says that she has my pathology report results from the surgery...

Shit.  Why is she calling me?  I already don't like it when doctors (or their staff) physically call me with results - this is how I was told about the Melanoma.  Shit, shit, shit, shit, SHIT!

She proceeds to tell me that the sentinel node was negative for malignancy.  I repeat - NEGATIVE!!!  The cancer hasn't spread. I repeat - the cancer HAS NOT spread!!  Exhale.  She said that the skin removed from my back was also negative which is good because if it were positive they'd have to remove MORE skin and I seriously wouldn't want that.  I, of course, waited until we hung up before I started to cry.

I was absolutely hoping for this news - this is the by far the best news that I could have asked for.  I absolutely did have paralyzing fear of the opposite end of the spectrum.  And I'd be lying if told you that I wasn't in a way expecting the doctor to say "um, yeah - one of the nodes was positive for Melanoma".  It could have been that I was mentally prepared for the worst like I tend to do.  It could have been that I've been completely worried with the fact that I knew about the change in the mole for a full year before doing anything about it (that really bothers me, if you couldn't tell).

I am completely ecstatic, but a bit leery of the results - if that makes any sense?  I told my Aunt that I feel like I have dodged a bullet - and I can't explain it any better.  I still want a scan to be 100% certain of the outcome (headaches and every other pain make me nervous!).  We still have my follow up appointment tomorrow at noon and we will go over the results and what to do next.  From what I know, I wont need any further surgeries.  I will probably just need to be monitored by seeing the dermatologist once every 3 months for a year and I would assume blood tests to check for LDH levels. 

Thank you everyone for your positive thoughts and prayers, it worked!!  As of right now, I know that everything is negative.  Today, the word "negative" is positively beautiful! 

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