Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Real life scary stories...

The scariest threat in movies for me is always an unseen one.  Even sometimes that threat takes on a human form, though there is one much, MUCH scarier!  His name: Cancer.   His cover: Your body!

So, I had this "idea" (which turned out to be not so good) of compiling other people's scary stories and send them to the medical commissioner, to the the damn president - anyone that would listen.  My thought process was to send them to people to understand that lower staged peeps need to also have additional testing, such as an annual scan.  I thought that might help out, or at least be a nice well thought-out step in the right direction.

I got the response that I wanted, but not that I anticipated.  What I know is Melanoma is an asshole.  What I realized is this annual scan wouldn't technically help out because of the fact that Melanoma is such an asshole.  The scan might help us, mentally - but not physically.  Melanoma is such a creep that it almost knows when you have a scan and then invites itself in afterwards when you're not anticipating him.

That kind of bummed me out because I got such joy purely just from thinking about it....thinking that we can take a bigger stand.  I was hoping that it might light a fire under someone's ass to work harder for us.  But the fact of the matter is people ARE working hard for us. New progress is being made on what seems like a monthly basis for Melanoma - even though it's still one of the most misunderstood cancers out there. Even with knowing that, I still wouldn't mind sending up some letters to 'someone'.  Still not sure who.  Still not sure what effect it would make. It may fall on deaf ears, but what I do know is that it would make me feel good for at least trying.  So, I've decided that I am tip-toeing forward.  I'm still working on this and I really appreciate all of the responses that I received - I will share my letter(s) on the blog when I am done.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Scary Stories

I’m sure that most of you (that aren't my family/friends in flesh) see a lot of the same things that I see on social media.  We are friends with the same people on Facebook.  We've liked the same pages and blogs.  Sometimes we write about the same things.  And, sometimes we write about what other people wrote about.  And that’s exactly what I’m about to do. 

 I read a posting on Facebook from someone that is an early stage'r and she wishes that she had more availability to scans just like our fellow further staged warriors.  I think all of us under Stage 2 (even some at Stage 2) wish that there was additional testing other than an annual blood test and chest x-ray.  And that's if we’re lucky.  It’s a concern to everyone diagnosed with cancer...of any kind.  It’s an unseen threat and if it’s growing and gaining strength in the shadows, we want that motion-sensor flood light turned on full blast to expose that bastard. 

And it’s all too common of a scary story that you read online.  Someone is a stage zero, one or two and then after however long the cancer is “back” and spread… severely.  Sometimes I have to force myself to stop reading these 'scary stories' (for lack of a better term) - blogs - which is the very same thing that I do to cope in my own way.  It’s a terrible thing, you mentally put yourself in their shoes and start going down the ‘what-if’ spiral.  I try to remind myself that their story is just that: theirs.  Just like my story is mine.  Everybody is different as is everybody's body is different.   

The truth is that we will never know if the beast is far away, completely uninterested in us or if he’s right on our heels breathing down our necks.  We, regardless of stage, never want to find out that the damn thing has sunk its teeth in.  And I am sure that if that ever happens we would have wanted to know if we could have somehow caught it earlier.

The other morning I had this epiphany, and I'm sure I'm not the only one that has had the same exact one:  What if we work together, get everyone's 'scary stories' together and send them to whoever they need to go to? 

Yes, this I understand this is pretty damn vague.  But remember, this is a very early sketch with hopes of becoming a masterpiece, so excuse me if I seem a little ahead of myself.  I guess the idea really is gathering scary stories of lower staged warriors that became later staged warriors.  Then from there, send these up to...I don't know...the medical board?  The Senator?  The g-damn President of the United States??  Someone that would listen and possibly understand that even though it was "caught early" it can still come back because that is the asshole known as Melanoma?  Someone that would listen and possibly understand that we could use other testing - if not only for our health, but also for our mental well-being.   

I don't even know how to start this or where to take it, but I had to get my thought out in the open.  When I think about it, my heart flutters a little bit with excitement...excitement to be part of a potential movement.  I want to help others that are new to this sad and frustrating disease and also ones that know it well. Let's continue our ROAR!  

*Disclaimer:  In NO way am saying "scary stories" as a meaning of disrespect.  I know I am talking about other's lives here - I understand they are not just merely 'stories' - I have the utmost respect for anyone battling any cancer.  

Peace and Love ~ Am

Sunday, May 4, 2014

Melanoma Walk @ Universal Studios

The hubs and I attended our first Melanoma walk!  It was amazing. It was weird seeing SO many people that were there for the same reason.  The same reason....Melanoma!  It was much more than I anticipated.  I anticipated exercise.  I anticipated seeing the back lots of Universal Studios.  I didn't anticipate the sunburn or...lack thereof.

Everyone was slathered in sunblock.  Duh, right?  At a Melanoma's obvious.  But there was one guy that was super tan, terrible tattoos, muscular and good looking.  I whispered to the Hubs that no girl here associated with Melanoma is going to be interested in him - since he's so tan; that he looks silly since he's tan at a fucking SKIN cancer walk/run!!  Seriously!!

Anyways, I actually felt weird telling peeps they were awesome for the sunblock (as I normally do).  I realized that EVERYONE was wearing sunblock.  Every turn, I saw pasty peeps (besides the random uber-tan-muscular-dude).  Pasty to me isn't a bad thing - Pasty to me is now a beautiful lifestyle.

Me and the Hubs super ready to start the walk
So, the race began and the hubs and I were jogging and we felt like we needed to because we were in the first....four rows or so of people...  I kept on telling the hubs that we needed to move out of the way of everyone that was serious - but they did that on their own.  

Next year will be different, we WILL prepare for it.  We just thought that it would be a you're walking around whatever.  This was different.  Within the first 10-15 minutes we were seeing guys blazing right around past us on their way to their 2nd-3rd mile.  It was amazing...these guys were red in the face and just going for it.  It was me...though probably not so their side.

Universal Studios has changed so much since the last time I've been there.  Although, there were parts that we went that a normal tram would not.  I'm so glad, so thankful that we were included in this.  Last night, the very first bad dream that I had (at my madre's house) was that we ALL missed every alarm that set and we woke up at 7:15.   Weird thing, that's about the same time we got there.  

Finally, all downhill!

After the race.  The hubs and I made it through the back lots and just made it under 50 minutes for three miles.  It was amazing...for us, it was amazing.  

Support Melanoma any way that you can.  The BEST way that you can is by wearing your sun block.  Just do it, it'll be the best thing that you do ALL day!  

<3  Amber ~ aka Holy Moly Melanomy

**Most of you have already seen the pictures included by way of Facebook.  If you haven't, be my friend!