I tried to look up the origins of when April Fools (or All Fools’ Day) started but it varies between countries and the exact origins are a bit of a mystery. There are stories about the Romans, stories about the Vernal Equinox and also stories about France changing their calendar in the mid-late 1500’s to match the Roman calendar, thus moving New Year’s celebrations from April to January.
There is one April Fool’s day that will always stand out to
me. One that, I’m sure, no mom wants to
hear. I had conspired with my dad to play
a joke on my mom. If I hadn’t included
him in the joke, I would have died simply from the daggers coming out of his
eyes being chucked right at me.
My dad said to my mom, “Melinda, you need to sit down –
Amber has something to tell you”. Oh shit, we’re doing this NOW?! Damn it, I didn’t even have time to get into
character. This is the Ultimate Improv –
you’re quick – Amber, you can DO
I try to give my mom a look of the saddest puppy dog eyes you’ve
ever seen. I put my face in my hands and
pretend to cry, doing the shoulder shuffle and everything. I can hear that my pretend tears are making
real ones…my mom is crying. I should have been nominated for an Oscar. The
reason why I put my face in my hands is because I didn’t have time to think of
a plot line. There were so many choices,
so many options…
I start telling a story that I had gone over to a friend’s
house and there were a few guys there that I didn’t know. Then I start fake crying really hard. The next thing was basically the
beginning and the end of the whole fooling experience. I said “And I told Jerome to
STOP!” Mind you, I didn’t have a
boyfriend at this point, especially one named ‘Jerome’. Mom is freaking the F out.
My goal was to tell her that I was preggers, but then we
took a quick turn on the “R” word express.
I didn’t say exactly what happened in my made up scenario; I had already
done enough damage. I don’t know if she could have handled that I was falsely pregnant on top of everything else that was racing through
her mind. So I stopped it.
I brought my head up, smiled and said “...aaaA-April Fools!” She continued crying. I’m thinking “Good one, Amber – you always got to take it to the next level, don’t
you” Yup. Yup, I do. I call this being a ‘Perpetual Line-Stepper’. You see the line and you just step right the
hell over it. The hubs is the best (and
worst) Perpetual Line-Stepper that I know; in order to love one you have to
understand it, which I absolutely get it.
That was the last big April Fools that I have ever done to
someone, and I’d like to keep it that way.
Until I see a line that needs to be crossed. Then, you just never know :)