The other day, actually...who am I lying to - the other WEEK (or two, or three - whatevs), when I was totally zombie-ed out, the hubs was being the great husband that he is and was straightening up. I was completely out of it on the couch, not much strength to do anything other than cry or go to the bathroom. Getting around 3 hours of sleep for several, several days does not work for me...at all. I swear, I think I had a total of maybe 15 hours of sleep last week? And I think I might even be a little generous on that.
Anyways, the hubs pulled down a photo of us in a frame and was cleaning it off - then stopped - handed it to me saying look at how small it was. I pulled down my robe asking if he was sure that little, teeny mole was THE one. Yup. Yup, it sure was. We compared it and it matched up. Weird because now that I am healed from the biopsy (looks like I had a cigarette put out on my back), I completely forgot what it had originally looked like before it decided to take over territory on my back. Here is that photo. Tiny, right? This was from August 2010.
I tried to load the video of the biopsy here, but I was running into "issues". Issues as in "sorry your video didn't load and there are no instructions to help you so you CAN load it". So, I did what any other person would - throw that bitch on YouTube!! If this doesn't work to click on the link, then copy/paste it to your browser. It better work because this is straight up almost 5 hours in the making...
ALL I ASK IS THAT YOU WATCH IT. Just check out the beginning part if you're weird with this type of stuff. Just so you can see that the biopsy itself is no big deal. Just so you can see what the little mole once was to what it became. I'm not going to lie - IT IS GRAPHIC. Not in a bloody, gory way - but there is a needle, a scalpel and we can't forget to mention - skin being removed.
I want to share this so other people wont be afraid. I waited and waited and waited because I was scared. I was scared that it was going to hurt. I was scared that they were going to cut into me while a nurse had to hold me down. I was scared of the "what if". My hope is that other people don't make the same mistake that I did by trying to ignore it, thinking that it's nothing.
After watching the video, after realizing that the mole was so tiny, it made me feel horrible & embarrassed Abso-effing-lutely horribly embarrassed How could I have let a sleeping giant lie for so long? I tried to look for other photos of my back after 2009/2010, but unfortunately these are really the only photos of my back that I have... I noticed the complete change in the mole, I think, around February/March of last year only after I had cut my hair (again). Aaaaaand I sat it for a whole year. Who knows when it actually started growing - how long it had been growing.
Anyways - be aware of your body, people!! Don't sit on this like I did - handle it, put on your big girl/boy pants and get it done! Or, take it one step further and take your ass to a Dermatologist for them to check your body for you if you feel uncomfortable doing it yourself.