Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Dear 16 year old me

There is a PSA made a while ago and it’s amazingly emotional, strong and it gets the message across in the best way possible - showing real people that have been affected.  You're not reading about them, you're SEEING and LISTENING to them.  I still see people on Facebook sharing it, as recently as this morning, and it makes me smile, all the while mentally reliving the first time I watched it.  I watched it at work during lunch one day and I had to stop it so I could go to the bathroom and cry my eyes out.  I dared not watch the rest of it….until the next day at home alone.  

Of course I stopped it the first time right smack in the middle; right in the heat of the emotional part.  The first time I watched this it was shortly after diagnosis and probably a week or two before my surgery.  I wasn't sleeping, I was literally a pasty ball of fear fueled emotions.  I still haven't shared it because I didn't want to prompt the same feelings in others.  What if they were having an awesome day and I just totally made them cry and ruined it?  Shit man, I don't want to do that.  But now I can watch this through a different light.
Hopefully this video works.  I've included the link, too, just in case :)  Please spend 5 minutes and watch.

What would you tell your 16 year old self? 

I would tell myself:
  • Do not worry about what people think. 
  • You need to open up more because people will never know the true YOU until you let go of insecurities (I used to be SUPER shy – took me waaay too long to figure this one out). 
  • That one breakup will not end you even though you think it will, and you will be thankful that you went through it so you know what you DON’T want.
  • That other breakup, you should have done it sooner…
  • Yes, you find someone - an amazing man - with all of the things you DO want.
  • You won’t get a boob job because you don’t need a boob job.  You will spend your saved money on a giant subwoofer and an annoying, loud ass muffler.  You were sooo fast and soooo furious. 
  • There still aren’t any surgeries yet that will fix your eardrums because of said loud music you listened to.
  • Don’t be afraid of doctors, they are there to help you.
  • Don't be afraid of outcomes, they will shape you into who you are.