Failed friends

It's funny that when all of this bullshit starts, people warn you that some friends will fail.  You never know when it will be and, of course, you never knew who it will be.

I went to ONE support group.  It was really nice, really comforting.  The women were great; an amazing group of women that have dealt with a shit load in their lives. A lot of them mentioned that they've lost friends, some lost family...others lost their husbands.  I'm not talking about death, though in some instances I would be correct, I'm talking about people that are still living that are no longer in their life.  Personally, I've already had a handful of people fall off the Amber tree, which is fine - it's what they wanted - I guess we were never friends to begin with.  But when it happens to someone you've basically known your whole life...it kinda sucks.  O-kay, it REALLY sucks.  

Less than two hours ago, I pretty much had to break it off with my best friend...or at least who I thought was my best friend.  I feel safe writing about it because I know she hasn't liked my page or probably even read my blog. I hate to admit it, but maybe we weren't friends, either? :(  Ohhhh, this makes me SO sad!!!  I'm totally crying writing this :(

I am so thankful that I have a strong support group where I really need them to be...my backbone.  My husband is always there for me, picking me up when I am down - letting me know that I am always awesome.  My parents are great, too.  I break down on the phone with them even when I didn't feel a cry coming on.  My dad knows what's up, he's been here before.  It's nice to be able to ask about things - even though he's an uber-macho-man, but I know deep down he's uber-sensitive (yes, dad - I just wrote that about YOU!)   :)

In that one support group, this woman that has indelibly made an impression on me, she said that my vocabulary has changed and only a select few will understand it: (1) People that understand because their vocabulary has changed due to cancer and (2) people that truly love you that are willing to change their vocabulary to understand you.

I guess it makes you shine a light on the situation; what kind of people do you have in your circle?  What kind of people do you WANT in your circle?  I guess this all just weeded out who would really be there.  I am absolutely stoked with the handful that I have. I love you all, and you know who you are :)