Wednesday, January 22, 2014

To have or not to have - that is the question...

Peeps keep telling me to stop saying that "I have Melanoma" because the surgery took “it” out and I am now considered a "survivor".

Quotations upon quotations.  

Now, this is a hard/soft spot for me, which I am sure that a lot of us lower staged feel the same way.  It could be denial.  O-kay, fine, it’s more than likely denial for two (or more) reasons:
  • Denial that 'we’re' called/considered "survivors" even though WE aren't higher staged warriors. Typically 'WE' haven’t really gone through a lot.  Though, now that I am typing this – I guess I have.  Biopsies, Surgeries, lymph nodes being yanked out, multiple doctor’s appointments, LOTS of $$$ still being spent and we can't leave out the mental anguish... Anyways, even with all of that, I personally don’t really feel that I am a "survivor"….quite yet. I'm sure my brain will eventually wrap around it (although my brain hasn't really wrapped around the fact that I have Melanoma just yet - it may take a little bit longer.)
  • Denial that Melanoma is completely gone because 'we' aren't medically treated the same way that a higher staged warrior would be with continued CT/PET scans and testing.  We merely get one annual X-ray and one annual blood test (two annually if we're lucky).  Which said testing would only show tumors that are fairly far along.  CT/PET Scans would be so much more forewarning for everyone in our diagnosis.  
    • This is something that all of us Cancer peeps have something to think about, regardless of what big Casino we have - this really should change!  We should all have the same right to find out what is growing in our bodies - right?  PET/CT Scans should be annually available to anyone that has Cancer tailed to their name.  That is preventative in my book.
No one with cancer knows if the cells are regaining strength and growing out of control.  And we have to learn to accept that fact.  Accept the fate.  My way of thinking is that our cells are already talented in transformation – they’ve earned their Masters in Mutation.  How do I know that I don’t have Melanoma?  I don’t.  Right at this very moment, a misfit Melanoma cell could be creeping along, just cruising around my body looking for a place to set up camp.  

Though, I do understand the people that are the "have nots" – the ones that say they had Melanoma (or had whatever cancer).  I can completely understand that they want that selfish bastard, also known as Melanoma, out of their bodies and lives.  Saying I "HAD" (X Cancer) would be amazing.

I mean, I guess even saying "I have Melanoma" is in a way kind of giving it power by saying "have".


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