Little, Stupid Mole

Moley, Moley, Moley.  Holy moly.  Why has that mole grown, so?  I grew up, being moley.  That’s just what us pasty folks have to look forward to…moles.  JOY!  Soooo attractive.  When I was younger I realized that I had ’spots’.  Not only freckles after being in the sun, but I had moles…well, everywhere.  My mom used to tell me that men loved them; that they were “beauty marks”.  For a long time I felt like the only beauty mark that I had was on my face.  A cute, little “beauty mark” about ¾ of an inch above my lip on the left side of my mouth.  Very movie-star-esque.  Everything else was just a mole.

I worked out.  And you know what I did after working out?  I went tanning.  I went to a very popular chain tanning salon.  I only put sun block on my tattoos because, of course, I didn’t want to affect my tattoos with fake sun.  I remember going into the tanning salon and them telling me “we have new bulbs in this bed!”  I used to get burnt in tanning beds all the time.  So much to the point I would have tiger stripes on my back - from new bulbs in the bed.  The most recent time I went tanning was preparing for my husband’s, cousin’s wedding in Cabo San Lucas last year, May, 2011.

Fast-forward to at least 6 months later.  I cut my hair in February 2012.  I do this a lot, change is good.  Brown hair, red hair, blond hair, short hair, long hair – it’s all whatevs to me.  I feel like that’s when I noticed the mole had grown.  Where the fuck did that come from?  Jesus, that thing is kind of big; I don’t remember that being there?  I showed it to my husband about 3 days later because I was mentally obsessing on it.  Why is it so big now?  We had randomly stumbled upon our wedding photos and saw a photo of my back.  The mole used to be tiny.  Little.  A stupid, little mole.

In March of 2012, my husband lost his job.  The mole took a back seat to our now changed lives.  One income impairs quite a few things.  Rent becomes priority - not seeing a dermatologist!  It should have been the other way around, however me being in the “employee benefits” industry, I knew all too well how things would work if I were to get this mole checked out.  Deductible, office copay, lab coinsurance…then lastly dealing with the billing department and fighting over why we’re sending in partial payments.  I could literally see it in my head.  Beatrice, this is all we can afford right now.  No, I can‘t send the rest of the $400 due.  And this was ONLY having the mole checked out. 

I did go in and out of a “what if” scenario, and frankly - we just couldn’t afford a “what if”.  My amazing husband did continue to lovingly pester me about seeing a dermatologist to have the mole removed, however I think I was subconsciously scared of the “what if” I typed about moments ago.  Honey, we can’t afford this right now - I promise I will go once you land a job, I promise.

Everyone in good ‘ole ‘Merica knows the status of our economy.  Being in Southern California is no different.  It took my husband 9 months to find a job.  He had to get licensed first to do so, however he IS now employed.  YAY!  Guess what happened next?  Yes, pestering.  The loving pestering started again, which I reluctantly made the appointment.

I saw Dr. Dermatologist on Thursday, February 21^st.  I called to make the appointment the previous Wednesday.  I remember thinking, “Whoa, I don’t even have time to mentally prepare for this appointment”.  I knew I was going to have the mole removed and from what I’ve researched, it doesn’t sound fun – at least the recovery part.  Anyone that knows me knows that I absolutely MUST research everything - from new restaurants to medical services.  I need information.

Dr. Dermatologist took one look at the mole and responded with a quick “Oh yeah, that needs to go.  I’ll take it and send it to the lab, everything should be fine”.  He left, came back into the room with the mole-removal goods and got started.  I laid down on my stomach on a bed/table that electronically adjusted height by the tap of his foot.  I start to sweat. 

I hate needles.  Judging by my piercings and tattoos you wouldn’t think so.  Now, I am not heavily tattooed or pierced, but I do have a nice collection going.  Dr. Dermatologist numbed me up, which I didn’t feel a thing and my husband video’d the whole thing.  “You aren’t going to YouTube that, are ya’?”  To which my husband responded, “Not unless you want me to…”  The process was really easy and I was somewhat sad that I hadn’t put on my big girl pants a months ago, or two - three months ago when the hub’s started working.  Oh well, at least I have it taken care of now.  Dr. Dermatologist advised that I will get a call or something in the next 2 weeks. I had all forgotten about it and gone on with my life.