Monday, April 7, 2014

What a pain in the GUT!

Since I've been venting all over the place about Melanoma I figured that I might as well include my other health nemesis: Ulcerative Colitis.  I've mentioned it here and there and now here is another one to add to the list.

My intestines have been acting up lately and being total brats.  It sucks.  It's hard to explain what it feels like to someone that doesn't know.  I think most of the time people think that I'm exaggerating...but I'm not.  It hurts!  You get cramping, nausea, feeling like your intestines are in knots, complete exhaustion and of course lots of quality bathroom time.  Not to mention the awesome small side effects like joint pain, ulcers in your mouth (not contagious, totally looked that one up), sometimes your eyeballs can swell (that was super fun...) and we can't forget bleeding out your bum! Oh, and then during bathroom time, you get intense, painful cramping mixed with feeling like you're gonna chuck (I've been known to do a little dry heave action) and feeling like you're going to pass out...while you're on the toilet...good times.  Those are the bad days...which isn't technically on a daily basis, though lately it sort of is.  What a pain in the ass, literally.  

This is the reason why I thought I had a high pain tolerance, I deal with pain on some level everyday!  I have some mild achiness daily, which is fine, it's something that I've learned to deal with.  Then there are the "bad-days" - the real shitty bathroom days (pun intended) and the mild aches kick up to medium to strong cramping.  I get SO unbelievably tired...which it doesn't help that I have insomnia (been awake since 1:30am today).  Lethargic is putting it nicely.  The hubs and I had plans with the younger stepson on Saturday; we got to the restaurant and after 5-10 minutes of being there the hubs had to drive me home because the cramping and nausea was so strong.  Super FUN!  

I guess all of my stresses are finally catching up to me.  I can't push those fuckers down any further.  Bastards!  They obviously don't know who they're dealing with...actually they do, they totally have my number.  I put on my brave face and go out in the world, but inside I'm hurting.  The last at least three years have been so tough financially.  And I suppose medically, too. We're definitely doing the know the one step forward and then two back.  I try to ignore things, but that seems to make matters worse and I really need to get a grip on my stress.  I also need to stay on top of my meds, but then I think there are so many other things that I could spend $50 on.  There are so many other things that need monetary attention - it sucks - it's a bummer - I'm over it.  Lets face it - that fifty bucks is WAY better than $450 that they would be without insurance.  But still...

So, since I am literally over this shit, lets end this post with something comical.  During one of my visits to my gastro doc years ago, he gave me a little package of goodies from the med company, which is also comically called.....wait for it......Asacol...  Seriously??  Why didn't they just call it "Your ass is calling"??  Anyways, in this little package were some samples, some how-to-deal pamphlets, I swear there was an inflatable butt donut in there and then this magical card that if ever pulled over for speeding will be the only time it will be used.  I will never, ever, show this to a person where I am trying to use their bathroom.  I might as well say "Hey, dude - I am about to dominate something fierce, let me in!"  Regardless if it gets used or not, it's pure comedy.  

Front of the card
Back of the card


  1. Oh Amber....I certainly know about colitis, not my personal colon, but Gary suffered with it for years. It was not fun. I have read in numerous reports that stress is not a factor....bullshit! Gary would get stressed out & have a flare up.
    Please don't stop taking any of your meds, they are very important. You have to attempt to keep your colon as healthy as possible. The alternative isn't very pleasant either. Sorry you have to deal with this horrible disease also.
    Love you...Kathy

    1. Stress is such a factor to everything! While I was out of work for those 7 months I lost SO much hair...HUGE handfuls of hair every time I showered. I swear that I probably lost close to 1/3 of it. It's finally starting to grow back. I know that stress did that (which I've also read that hair loss can be associated with Colitis as much fun!). :) Love you lots!