Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Hallucinating hallucinations

As most of you know, I've got a touch of insomnia that gets worse when my period looms on the horizon.  With that being said, I will be starting sometime in the next week, give or take a day or two.  Last night was a dreadful night's sleep.  I've come the realization that I get about 2.5 weeks of good, solid, sometimes 7-8 hours of sleep a night...per month.  Then the remainder of the month is spent either me angrily rolling around unable to get comfortable or simply angrily lying there unable to get back to sleep.

This morning was one of those days.  Bummer.  Total bummer - I hate these weeks of the month.

I tossed and turned from about 2:something until I got out of bed at 5:30.  I was laying on the couch, TV turned on with it's sole purpose of background noise while I play a game on my phone.  My concentration was broken by the sound of the hubs getting out of bed.  He's a heavy walker. Bedroom door opens and he mutters "'Morning, hun."  I sleepily respond with a single "hi".  Minutes pass and I realize that he's either being super quiet or I hallucinated the whole damn thing.  This wouldn't be the first time that I've hallucinated a person.  Yes, I just said that; those two words were just in the same sentence: hallucinated + person = scary.  First time ever was last month in May.  Shall we explore the depths of obscurity also known as my crazy dome?  Let's proceed:
  1. A little more than 6 weeks ago, the hubs and I spent the night at my mom's house so we wouldn't have to wake up so bloody early to head out to the Melanoma walk.  I had a terrible night's sleep. I was bouncing from the couch, to the recliner, to the love seat, squishing in next to Tony then finally back to the recliner where I tried to finish off the remaining hours of night.  Around 5:00am, I was woken up by (what I thought was) my dad nudging the chair I was sleeping in and then he continued walking down the hall to the computer room.  He didn't look back, just kept on walking.  I was stunned and almost blurted out "What the fuck, dad!?" but I didn't want to wake Tony, or anyone else for that matter, with my grumpy morning voice.  I sat and stared into the computer room, confused at what just happened...then I heard him in bed, in his room, that is not near the computer room.  I later asked my mom if she had went to the bathroom around that time and she confirmed - but it's not like my parents look at all similar.  She's a woman; he's a man. It was his walk, he was wearing the same thing he went to sleep in and he sort of dissipated once in the computer room.  Weird.  I know.
  2. About two weeks ago I was asleep on the couch.  This is a nightly event - I get in my little nook on the chaise part of the couch and typically within 20 minutes in a reclined position, I will be passed the hell out.  I was woken up by the couch moving; it's (what I thought was) the hubs getting up to go to the bathroom.  I open my eyes ever so slightly and I see him zombie-walk into the den towards a bathroom and I swear I hear the sound of the toilet lid.  I stay awake because I know when he is done, he will let me know it's 'bed-time' and then we will both zombie walk to bed.  Though, it sounds as if he's fallen asleep in there!  I can hear heaving breathing coming from the den/bathroom.  I start to get up to go find out what the heck he's doing and as I position my body to get off of the couch, I am startled to see him fast asleep lying next to me.  
And then comes this morning that sent me in a whirlwind panic.  I realized that I didn't hear the toilet flush from the hubs going to the bathroom, I looked up and saw the bedroom door shut.  I tried to wrap my mind around the fact that this time I was awake; I couldn't brush this off as being in la-la-land between dreaming and drowsy.  I started thinking that I am losing my mind - I saw my husband, he talked to me and I answered back!  All while he was actually in bed asleep!!  Holy shit!  Envisions of padded room and dirty hair fills my mind.

Then, I went to the dark side and immediately thought I've got a major tumor in my brain that is causing hallucinations.  Luckily - the logical side of my crazy brain jumped in.  'Um....Amber, why don't you just ask hubs if he was awake?'  Good idea, logic!  And he confirmed, he got up to go pee and then went back to bed.  I was too tired from not sleeping and too focused on my silly candy crush game to realize that the toilet had flushed and he went right on back to bed.  

I'm fine with two dream-like hallucinations, that's a 'couple of hallucinations'.  Three would definitely push it over the edge into a 'few hallucinations'.  Even as of right now, that has been the best part of my day - knowing that I am not completely crazy.

No comments:

Post a Comment