True words from a beautiful woman

I concur with Marilyn except for not trusting anyone...  The shuggy, family and select few people are completely trustworthy in my crazy book ;)

The Golden Ticket

I wrote this months ago - so I altered the dates originally written to fit with the current...I kinda got sick of this sitting around in my drafts.   :)

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I feel like I am incredibly lucky for sitting on this ticking time bomb on my back for over a year and it didn’t spread.  Yes, I needed surgery, but it didn’t infiltrate lymph nodes and as far as I know it hasn’t made its way to organs.  Most aren’t this lucky.  Most that had the same mitotic rate would typically have lymph nodes testing positive and thus needing further surgeries/scans done.  I got a golden ticket.

I feel like I am spitting in the face of my new found luck.  I’m ripping up my golden ticket and throwing it in the air like pretty, golden confetti.  My diet sucks, I have little to no self control when hamburgers or candy are involved, I don’t exercise, I do drink – really the only thing that I have changed is putting sunblock on the rest of my exposed body because I was already diligent with putting it on my face every day. It's almost 10 months since I had the surgery and that flew by like Super Man looking for a porta-potty. 

In a way, this general dismay about myself is a good thing.  I’ve always said that it takes baby-steps and this is just a little wiggle wobble in the right direction.  I know that I will snap out of this haze and as lame as this sounds...start treating my body like the temple it should be.  Wow, that just felt SUPER cheesy typing that, but I (we) do need to look at it that way.  My body jumped in and fought for me....my body fought for us.  I should be rewarding it, right?

I need to stop feeding my body with chemicals and realize the ultimate prize - my health, my life, my future.  I really enjoy cooking and like to make homemade meals as often as possible, but good lord is it cheaper to pick up a couple of tacos from jack in the crack than to make a delicious and nutritious meal.  I need to deal with my stress as opposed to fighting it and tucking it away like it's not there.  I need to not love western bacon f*cking cheeseburgers!  Even writing 'western bacon' gets my brain going...they're delicious....mmmmmm. Seriously...they're ah-maze-ING....to me!! Where's the nearest Carl's??       O-kay, bye!!  

Time of death

O-kay, I'm aware that the title of this posting is dark, but I wanted to share something worth while.

The hubs and I stumbled on a show one night while staying in a hotel in San Antonio (I will write about our trip soon, pinky swear). Our hotel rooms didn't have our lovely DirecTV that we're accustomed to, so we were blissfully unaware of what channels and shows we were flipping through.  We smartened up on the last hotel stay of our trip and made a list of the channels, which we should have done every dang night.  Oh well, hindsight is 20/20, right?

Anywho, this show seemed to be a documentary of terminal individuals and the main focus being of the family matriarch, Maria.  Maria had stage IV Breast Cancer and every episode there were other people willing to share their last moments with the world.  Most participants had some sort of cancer though there was one episode with Cheyenne who had ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease).  I couldn't stop watching.  I was fascinated with how these incredible people and their loved ones are dealing with the reality of their death.  I have never seen another show like this and I think it's............amazing.  Absolutely amazing.  I swear that my heart grew watching them.    

I'm aware that it's a little on the morbid side - who am I kidding, it's completely morbid.  But it's a subject that is never truly, really touched upon.  Movies, TV shows, video games, music and even commercials have death involved - but it's suspended reality.  Oh, don't worry! It's not real, it's just a movie.  What happens when "it" becomes your reality?  You've been suspended for so long that you can't possibly comprehend what to do because death is not in your glossary.   No one ever talks about death even though our departure is something that is absolutely, 1,000% certain for every single one of us (vampires excluded).
 
Time of Death is a 6-part documentary series on Showtime - click on this: (time of death) and it will take you to Showtime's website. If you have 'on demand' capabilities then I recommend that you watch it from the very first episode, it'll make more sense and you'll get a fuller understanding of the main family involved. This show induces thought, as well as tears, so get ready to cry on a couple of them.  It makes you wonder how prepared you and your family for THE uncertainty but it also lets you know that death isn't a tall, scary man in a black robe wielding a giant hay-blade. This show is about family....LOVE....and yes, death.  

Soooo....now that this posting can't get any creepier - I'd like you to check out this show.  I think it's well made, honest and promotes love.  Showtime - Fridays @ 9.  Check it out before it's too late :)