One Year Melaversary!

One year ago today, I was being sliced and diced.  Literally, I was rolled back there at 12:00 and woke up at 3:00.  Consider my shock and confusement seeing 3:00pm on the clock when the surgery was supposed to take 45 minutes.  My family was tripping balls!  Today is the day that I will celebrate!  No, not because my family was tripping balls.  I didn't want to celebrate my diagnosis date because it's not something particularly filled with joy. Neither is surgery, but I don't want to mentally celebrate the day the doctor called and told me that I have Melanoma. I will always remember it, I just would rather celebrate the day that Dr. Surgeon cut the rest of the cancer off of my damn back. That is something worth celebrating to me :)

Today is my Melanomaversary...did I just make up a new word??  I think I actually prefer that better than "cancerversary".  We can even shorten it to Melaversary.  Whoah.....I am SO onto something.  I just totally changed the title of this posting to, well - duh, you can see the title :)   I should expect a call from Mr. Dictionary to add these two glorious variations to his book; or at least a call from his cousin Mr. Urban Dictionary.

I took a few photos of my scars now so you can see what a year looks like after the knife.

This was about 2 weeks after surgery last year.

This was today: 04/12/14 :)

Left pitter two weeks after surgery

Left pitter today: 04/12/14

Remember kiddos: Protect the skin you're in!

What a pain in the GUT!

Since I've been venting all over the place about Melanoma I figured that I might as well include my other health nemesis: Ulcerative Colitis.  I've mentioned it here and there and now here is another one to add to the list.

My intestines have been acting up lately and being total brats.  It sucks.  It's hard to explain what it feels like to someone that doesn't know.  I think most of the time people think that I'm exaggerating...but I'm not.  It hurts!  You get cramping, nausea, feeling like your intestines are in knots, complete exhaustion and of course lots of quality bathroom time.  Not to mention the awesome small side effects like joint pain, ulcers in your mouth (not contagious, totally looked that one up), sometimes your eyeballs can swell (that was super fun...) and we can't forget bleeding out your bum! Oh, and then during bathroom time, you get intense, painful cramping mixed with feeling like you're gonna chuck (I've been known to do a little dry heave action) and feeling like you're going to pass out...while you're on the toilet...good times.  Those are the bad days...which isn't technically on a daily basis, though lately it sort of is.  What a pain in the ass, literally.  

This is the reason why I thought I had a high pain tolerance, I deal with pain on some level everyday!  I have some mild achiness daily, which is fine, it's something that I've learned to deal with.  Then there are the "bad-days" - the real shitty bathroom days (pun intended) and the mild aches kick up to medium to strong cramping.  I get SO unbelievably tired...which it doesn't help that I have insomnia (been awake since 1:30am today).  Lethargic is putting it nicely.  The hubs and I had plans with the younger stepson on Saturday; we got to the restaurant and after 5-10 minutes of being there the hubs had to drive me home because the cramping and nausea was so strong.  Super FUN!  

I guess all of my stresses are finally catching up to me.  I can't push those fuckers down any further.  Bastards!  They obviously don't know who they're dealing with...actually they do, they totally have my number.  I put on my brave face and go out in the world, but inside I'm hurting.  The last at least three years have been so tough financially.  And I suppose medically, too. We're definitely doing the two-step...you know the one step forward and then two back.  I try to ignore things, but that seems to make matters worse and I really need to get a grip on my stress.  I also need to stay on top of my meds, but then I think there are so many other things that I could spend $50 on.  There are so many other things that need monetary attention - it sucks - it's a bummer - I'm over it.  Lets face it - that fifty bucks is WAY better than $450 that they would be without insurance.  But still...

So, since I am literally over this shit, lets end this post with something comical.  During one of my visits to my gastro doc years ago, he gave me a little package of goodies from the med company, which is also comically called.....wait for it......Asacol...  Seriously??  Why didn't they just call it "Your ass is calling"??  Anyways, in this little package were some samples, some how-to-deal pamphlets, I swear there was an inflatable butt donut in there and then this magical card that if ever pulled over for speeding will be the only time it will be used.  I will never, ever, show this to a person where I am trying to use their bathroom.  I might as well say "Hey, dude - I am about to dominate something fierce, let me in!"  Regardless if it gets used or not, it's pure comedy.  

Front of the card

Back of the card

Bloggin' & Billboards!

Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you!

Happy Birthday dear Holy Moly Melanomy....Happy Birthday to YOU!

My bouncing, baby blog has turned one today!  365 days ago I launched this bad boy.  I wasn't sure what I was getting myself into or how it would turn out...the only thing that I knew at the beginning of all of this is that I needed to do this.  I needed to start this blog for myself (and my loved ones) because otherwise the stress from holding in my fears and feelings would eat me from the inside out.  I needed to shout my story from the rooftops in hopes to prevent anyone else going through the mental anguish. This blog was a complete necessity for my sanity.  I never could have imagined the impact that this silly, little blog has had on me.  

People that know me wouldn't think that I am not forthcoming with my feelings since I talk about everything else with no regard if the subject is appropriate or not.  I am completely, in every sense of the phrase, an open book - except when it comes to my feelings.  This blog has allowed me to open up in ways that I have wanted to, but never had the courage or strength to do.  Thank you to blogger for being there on days when I needed to vent and thank you to everyone who reads my silly ramblings.

With all of that said and done - I have another announcement to make and it couldn't come at a better time!  It is almost as if it's a birthday gift to my one year old baby, blog. 

On March 24th through April 20th a billboard for Melanoma awareness will be up in Grand Rapids, MI.  I did not think this up, I did not put this together - heck, I didn't even give any funds towards the billboard...but I am included on it and I couldn't be more proud.  I just found out about this a couple of days ago and I was so humbled and overjoyed to be included in such a huge effort.

Amazing Susan Hayes (affectionately know as mama bear in the Melanoma community) is the mastermind behind the literal HUGE WARNING SIGN!  She is posting this in time for spring breakers and prom go'ers in hopes to make these young people realize that Melanoma is serious.  I didn't know - seeing something like this on the way to the tanning salon in my late teens would have made me stop and think about it.  Even more so if I saw this leaving the tanning salon while smelling the scent of my burnt skin permeating the car. 

 

Our roar is getting louder...we will be heard. 

 

**If you want to read some of Susan's story about the loss of her beautiful daughter you can read here (http://jilliansjourneywithmelanoma.blogspot.com/)